I Knew Before I Was Ready 

A little over a month before I started my visibility challenge, I had written myself a note. 

It said that I must be more vulnerable. 

I must be more visible. 

I told myself that I needed to challenge myself daily, and I knew in my soul that I was right. 

But I didn’t start right then. 

That wasn’t the first time that I had talked or written myself this very same statement. 

I knew for years that I needed to do this. 

That I wanted to do this. 

But I was terrified. 

I would start, and then the fear would overwhelm me. 

The nerves. 

The lack of confidence. 

The lack of knowing what this would bring.

Some days, I even saw all of my dreams coming true and panicked. 

What if I got it and didn’t want it? 

What if it wasn’t like I thought? 

What if it was terrible? 

What if I couldn’t undo it? 

What if I couldn’t go back? 

It made me question everything. 

Why I wanted this.

What I was doing. 

What I was doing it for. 

Who I was doing it for. 

If it even mattered. 

And then, I would quit. 

I would fall off. 

I would stop posting. 

I went from being visible and vulnerable to crickets. 

I was gone. 

I would get on and off this rollercoaster over and over for years before this note and before I leapt into the visibility challenge. 

It got me thinking a lot about the pressure we feel from others. 

The voices we hear. 

The failure we feel. 

It also made me think about all the times that I have seen this in myself. 

All the times that I felt pressured to move faster than I was ready to for someone else. 

All the times that I listened to others’ fears and judgements over my own truth. 

What is right for one isn’t always right for all. 

I knew what was right for me- but all those times, I didn’t listen. 

Instead of being mad about it like I used to, now I can see the opportunity in it. 

Now I can see all the growth that has happened along the way. 

All the rerouting.

All the unlearning. 

All the updates that I put into place. 

I can see how it taught me to listen to myself more clearly. 

I can see where patience and time still led me exactly where I needed to go. 

It’s not just one piece of the journey that makes it all worth it. 

It’s the whole damn thing. 

The good, the bad, and everything in between. 

It’s all an opportunity. 

Reflection Questions

• Where do you hear someone’s voice that isn’t your own? 
• What gives their voice so much power?
• What do you hear? 
• What do you want to hear? 
• What would it change to hear those words? 

Join the convo tonight at 7PM: