One Foot Out The Door: Are You Holding Yourself Back?

Being honest with myself about how I was truly showing up didn’t feel like a big deal until I started seeing the impact it made on every piece of my life.

It was me holding myself back.

And once I recognized that, I started looking for all the other places where I was living with one foot in and one foot out.

My relationships.

My dreams.

My career.

The promises I made to myself.

The opportunities I said I wanted but was terrified to actually receive.

How many times had I told myself I was trying, when really, I was just waiting?

Waiting until I felt ready.

Waiting until I felt safe.

Waiting until I knew it would work.

Waiting for someone else to do something that would make my decision easier.

And how many times had I mistaken that waiting for actually doing something?

I realized that nothing could truly come together if I wasn’t even sure whether I was coming or going.

I couldn’t fully experience the things I wanted while simultaneously preparing myself for their loss.

I couldn’t keep asking life to meet me somewhere I wasn’t willing to show up.

And I couldn’t keep expecting something different while continuing to respond from the same old places.

Living with one foot out the door will keep you in a holding pattern until you decide.

And sometimes, the decision isn’t whether to stay or go.

Sometimes, it’s deciding whether you’re willing to stop letting the possibility of things going wrong keep you from experiencing what could go right.

Because you can spend your entire life preparing for the moment everything falls apart.

Or you can start participating in the life that’s happening right now.

Reflection Questions

• Where in your life are you living with one foot in and one foot out?
• What are you afraid might happen if you allowed yourself to be fully in?
• Are you making decisions based on what’s happening right now, or what you’re afraid might happen later?
• What would showing up with both feet look like for you?